Your friend just did something that makes your blood boil. You call another friend to vent. You rehash the whole story, getting more worked up as you go. Afterwards, you feel… better. Or do you?
Turns out, that feeling of relief is a lie your brain is telling you. Researchers at Ohio State University analyzed 154 studies involving over 10,000 participants and found something that challenges everything we’ve been taught about anger management: venting doesn’t reduce anger. In many cases, it actually makes things worse.
The “blow off steam” advice we’ve all heard since childhood has zero scientific evidence to support it.
The Pressure Cooker Metaphor Is Backwards
We’ve been thinking about anger all wrong. The common wisdom treats rage like pressure building in a cooker; let out the steam or risk an explosion. This metaphor has shaped how generations of people handle anger, and it’s completely misleading.
When you vent about what’s making you angry, whether to a friend or by punching a pillow or screaming into the void, your brain experiences a moment of satisfaction. Here’s the problem: that good feeling acts as reinforcement. Your brain interprets the relief as “this worked” and actually strengthens the neural pathways associated with aggression.
“It’s really a battle because angry people want to vent, but our research shows that any good feeling we get from venting actually reinforces aggression,” explained Brad Bushman, senior author of the study and a communication scientist at Ohio State University.
The research team was partly inspired to conduct this massive review by the growing popularity of rage rooms, where people pay $50 to $100 to smash objects with baseball bats. The rage room industry is projected to hit $100 million in annual revenue, built entirely on the faulty premise that destruction provides catharsis.
What Your Body Is Actually Doing When You’re Angry
The key to understanding why venting fails lies in the Schachter-Singer two-factor theory of emotion. Anger isn’t just a feeling; it’s a combination of physiological arousal (your body’s physical response) and cognitive interpretation (how you think about the situation).
When you’re angry, your heart rate increases, your muscles tense, your breathing quickens. This physiological arousal is the fuel that anger needs to sustain itself. Venting, complaining, or engaging in aggressive activities doesn’t turn down this arousal. In many cases, it turns it up.
The researchers examined both arousal-increasing activities (jogging, cycling, boxing, punching bags) and arousal-decreasing activities (deep breathing, meditation, yoga, progressive muscle relaxation). The results were clear across lab experiments, real-world settings, and diverse participant demographics.
Arousal-decreasing activities consistently reduced anger. Arousal-increasing activities either did nothing or made anger worse, with jogging identified as the most likely to increase rage rather than reduce it.
The Activities That Actually Work (Even Though They Sound Boring)
Here’s where the science gets counterintuitive. The techniques that effectively manage anger are the ones that feel too simple, too quiet, too… unheroic.
Taking a timeout works. Counting to 10 works. Deep breathing, mindfulness, meditation, slow-flow yoga, progressive muscle relaxation, diaphragmatic breathing. All of these reduce anger by lowering your body’s physiological arousal.
“To reduce anger, it is better to engage in activities that decrease arousal levels,” Bushman noted. “Despite what popular wisdom may suggest, even going for a run is not an effective strategy because it increases arousal levels and ends up being counterproductive.”
The researchers found one interesting exception: ball sports and physical activities involving play seemed to reduce physiological arousal. The element of fun and social engagement may help counteract the arousal-increasing effects of physical exertion.
But What About “Getting It Off Your Chest”
This doesn’t mean you should never talk about what’s bothering you. There’s an important distinction between venting and processing.
Reflection can help you understand why you’re angry and address underlying problems. Emotional validation from friends matters; it’s an important first step in healthily processing difficult emotions. Talking through a problem to gain perspective is different from rehearsing your anger, building a case, and getting more agitated with every retelling.
The difference comes down to whether you’re seeking understanding or seeking reinforcement for your rage. One involves calming yourself enough to think clearly about the situation. The other involves ruminating on everything that went wrong until your physiological arousal is through the roof.
The Apps Are Onto Something
“You don’t need to necessarily book an appointment with a cognitive behavioral therapist to deal with anger,” said Sophie Kjærvik, the study’s first author and a communication scientist at Virginia Commonwealth University. “You can download an app for free on your phone, or you can find a YouTube video if you need guidance.”
This research validates what meditation apps and breathing exercise videos have been teaching all along. The techniques work not because they help you “process” anger in some abstract way, but because they directly address the physiological arousal fueling it.
Previous anger management research has focused heavily on the cognitive angle, examining how cognitive behavioral therapy helps people adjust their thinking patterns. That works too, but this research illuminates an alternate pathway that’s more accessible and often faster.
When Your Instincts Betray You
The cruelest part of this research is that it goes against every instinct angry people have. When you’re furious, the last thing you want to do is sit quietly and breathe deeply. You want to do something. You want to move, to shout, to break things, to tell someone exactly how you feel.
Those instincts are leading you in precisely the wrong direction.
The activities that feel most satisfying in the moment of anger are the ones that will keep you angry longer. The activities that feel passive and insufficient are the ones that actually work. Understanding this doesn’t make it easier, but it does make it possible to override your initial impulses.
Next time you feel that familiar heat rising, before you reach for your phone to text your friend a 47-paragraph rant about what just happened, try this instead: sit down, close your eyes, and count your breaths to ten. It sounds too simple to work. The science says it’s exactly what will.