Breakups are hard—plain and simple. Whether it ended suddenly or slowly faded out, losing someone you cared about can leave you feeling heartbroken, confused, and completely out of sorts. Even if the breakup was your choice or the right thing in the long run, that doesn’t make it any easier in the moment.
The truth is, there’s no shortcut through heartbreak. But there is a way forward. And no, it doesn’t have to involve toxic positivity or pretending you’re “totally fine” when you’re not. Here’s how to actually get through a breakup in a way that’s healthy, healing, and honest.
1. Let Yourself Feel Everything
Sadness, anger, relief, regret, guilt, loneliness—it’s all normal. You don’t need to rush past the pain or pretend it’s not there. The only way out is through, and that means letting yourself feel what you feel, even when it’s uncomfortable. Cry if you need to. Vent to a friend. Journal. Sit with the sadness. The more you let the emotions move through you, the sooner they’ll loosen their grip.
2. Cut Off Contact (at Least for Now)
It’s hard to heal from someone if they’re still in your inbox or showing up on your feed. Even if you ended things on good terms, giving yourself space is important. Unfollow, mute, block if you need to. This isn’t about being petty—it’s about protecting your mental and emotional health while you get back on your feet.
3. Don’t Romanticize the Past
After a breakup, it’s easy to play a highlight reel in your mind—remembering all the cute dates, sweet texts, and inside jokes. But try to remember the whole picture. If things were truly perfect, you wouldn’t be in this place now. Be honest about what didn’t work. This isn’t to be bitter—it’s to remind yourself why this ending is part of your growth.
4. Lean on Your People
You don’t have to go through this alone. Reach out to friends, family, or anyone who makes you feel safe and supported. Let them know you’re struggling. Ask for a distraction or just a listening ear. The people who care about you want to help—you just have to let them in.
5. Take Care of Your Body, Even If Your Heart’s a Mess
Breakups hit hard emotionally, but they take a physical toll, too. You might not feel like eating, sleeping, or doing much of anything. Try to keep the basics in place:
- Eat real food
- Drink water
- Get fresh air
- Move your body (even just a short walk)
- Go to bed at a decent time
You don’t have to thrive. Just focus on the small things that help you function. Your future self will thank you.
6. Resist the Urge to Fill the Void Immediately
It’s tempting to dive into distractions—dating apps, rebound hookups, or overloading your schedule just to keep your mind busy. And while distractions aren’t always bad, they don’t replace real healing. Give yourself time to sit in the discomfort, learn from the experience, and rediscover what you want moving forward.
7. Reclaim Your Time and Space
One of the hardest parts of a breakup is adjusting to life without someone you’re used to sharing everything with. The best way to deal with that emptiness is to fill it with you.
- Revisit hobbies you used to love
- Try something new you’ve always been curious about
- Redecorate your space to make it feel fresh and yours again
- Spend time with people who energize you
This is your time to reconnect with the version of you that doesn’t depend on anyone else to feel complete.
8. Write a Goodbye Letter (But Don’t Send It)
Sometimes, the closure we want doesn’t come from the other person. If you have things left unsaid, write them out in a letter. Say everything you need to say—then keep it or burn it. The point isn’t to reopen the conversation. It’s to get the thoughts out of your head so they stop looping in your mind.
9. Remind Yourself: This Will Pass
It might not feel like it now, but you will feel better. Heartbreak can cloud everything, but it’s not forever. One day soon, you’ll laugh again, flirt again, feel like yourself again. Let time do its thing. Healing isn’t linear—some days will be harder than others—but the trend is forward. Trust that.
10. Look Ahead (When You’re Ready)
Once the raw pain starts to ease, you’ll find space to think about the future. Take the lessons you’ve learned and use them to build better boundaries, stronger relationships, and a deeper understanding of what you truly want. A breakup can feel like the end, but it’s often the beginning of something better—even if you can’t see it yet.
Final Thoughts
Breakups hurt, no matter how strong you are. But with time, care, and compassion for yourself, you will get through it. You don’t have to have it all figured out today. You just have to take the next step, one honest moment at a time. You’re allowed to grieve and grow at the same time. Healing isn’t a race—it’s a process. And you’re already on your way.