Forget the supplements. Skip the brain training apps. After 25 years of studying people in their 80s and 90s who have the memory of someone decades younger, researchers at Northwestern University have pinpointed what actually matters: the strength of your relationships.
These “super-agers” can recall lists of words, remember where they left their keys, and navigate conversations with the sharpness of someone 20 to 30 years younger. Since 2000, Northwestern’s research team has studied nearly 300 of these remarkable individuals, and what they’ve discovered challenges everything we thought we knew about aging and the brain.
Not Everyone Makes the Cut
Not everyone over 80 fits this category. In fact, fewer than 10% of older adults qualify as super-agers, defined by their ability to score as well on memory tests as people in their 50s and 60s. To put this in perspective, the average 80-year-old recalls about 5 out of 15 words on a standard memory test. Super-agers? They nail 9 or more.
Dr. Sandra Weintraub, who’s been leading this research at Northwestern’s Feinberg School of Medicine since the beginning, says super-agers don’t share a magic diet or exercise routine. They’re not all marathon runners or vegetarians. Some even have their vices. But they do have one thing in common: they prioritize social relationships above almost everything else.
“It’s really what we’ve found in their brains that’s been so earth-shattering for us,” Weintraub told researchers in a new review paper published in Alzheimer’s & Dementia journal.
Your Brain on Friendship
When researchers examined the brains of super-agers (79 have donated their brains to science after death), they found something remarkable. These brains look decades younger than their actual age. Brain scans show that super-agers have brain volumes more consistent with people in their 50s and 60s, not their 80s and 90s.
Even more fascinating: super-agers have significantly more of a special type of brain cell called von Economo neurons. These large, spindle-shaped cells are found only in highly social mammals (humans, great apes, elephants, whales, dolphins) and are concentrated in brain regions responsible for social behavior and emotional processing.
Von Economo neurons act like express lanes for social information, helping the brain quickly process empathy, self-awareness, and social cues. Dr. Bill Seeley from UC San Francisco suggests these neurons “probably help them build and maintain powerful, strong social connections and social networks,” which may have “a far-reaching effect on their overall well-being and health.”
What Loneliness Actually Does
The flip side of this research is sobering. While super-agers protect their brains through connection, loneliness actively damages cognitive function. Studies show that loneliness increases dementia risk by 40-60%, independent of whether someone is physically isolated or not.
Here’s what happens: loneliness triggers your stress response system, flooding your body with cortisol. When cortisol stays elevated for long periods, it causes chronic inflammation throughout the body, including the brain. This inflammation can damage brain cells, particularly in the hippocampus — the region critical for memory formation.
Research from the Framingham Study found that people under 80 who reported feeling lonely had a three-fold greater risk of developing dementia within 10 years. The biological pathway is clear: loneliness creates stress, stress creates inflammation, and inflammation damages the brain’s ability to function and repair itself.
The Real Lives of Super-Agers
The super-agers in Northwestern’s study don’t necessarily have perfect lives or ideal circumstances. What they have is a commitment to maintaining meaningful relationships. Ralph Rehbock, 91 and a Holocaust survivor, sings with a men’s group every Friday and volunteers at a Holocaust museum. Leigh Steinman, 82, spends much of his time with neighborhood kids on art projects and sees old friends at Cubs games near his Chicago home.
This isn’t about having hundreds of friends on social media. It’s about real engagement that challenges your social brain — the kind that requires empathy, active listening, and genuine connection. Book clubs, volunteer work, regular coffee dates with friends, community groups. These aren’t just pleasant activities. They’re actively protecting your brain from age-related decline.
While genetics certainly play a role in who becomes a super-ager, the research suggests that how we structure our social lives matters more than we might think. The brain regions responsible for social connection appear to be the same ones that help us resist cognitive decline.
A Different Kind of Resolution
As we start 2025, most New Year’s resolutions focus on individual achievement: lose weight, read more books, learn a language. But the super-ager research suggests we should be thinking differently. The most powerful thing you can do for your long-term brain health might be investing in your relationships.
This isn’t just about preventing dementia decades from now. Social connection reduces stress, lowers inflammation, and activates neural networks that keep your mind sharp today. Whether you’re 35 or 85, your brain is responding to how connected you feel right now.
The super-agers have shown us that exceptional memory in old age isn’t just possible — it’s linked to how we choose to spend our time with other people. That’s a resolution worth keeping.